Friday, April 18, 2014

Video Blitz 6

First up, Lindsey Sirling has a new album coming out, and this is the first single!



It's amazing! I can't wait for the whole album!

Next up, in case you're not totally sick of Frozen covers, this is an amazing version of Let it go, by Alex Boye.



I had avoided posting covers from this movie on my blog, since there were just SO many, but this one was too good not to share. It's a completely original take, rather than a straight cover like most of the rest.

Next, we have Karmin, one of my relatively new favorite groups, covering their own song, Acapella, with Mike Tomkins, and actually doing it in acapella.



I may like this version better than the original. I wish I could buy this one!

Next up, is another travel video from Devin Graham, featuring Dubai.



This place looks amazing. Dubai definitely went on my bucket list after I saw this video.

Last but not least, here is a Peter Hollens video, this time a collaboration with Kina Grannis.



As a bonus, I'm including an old Kina Grannis video that is so amazing, it deserves to be seen again.


A Twist Ending! 10!

Well, here's the story I teased two months ago. I finally got around to writing it. As usual the first half is true, and the second half is what I wish were true.

~

"I have 8 orders here," the man said unpleasantly, rolling up to my register with a cart load of canned goods. "There's a 12 can limit, right?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Well, I'll pay for them all separately then," he said picking up some of the cans. He glared at the conveyer belt. "That thing is filthy," He said. "I don't want any of my groceries to touch it." He began handing me the cans, one by one.

I tried to act as though he wasn't completely insane, and began ringing them up as he handed them to me, setting them on the counter for the courtesy, who was outside doing a drive up.

"You bag those as you ring them up," the man ordered. "Don't put anything on the counter."

"Ok," I said as pleasantly as possible, and began slowly going through his orders, bagging as I went. About halfway through, the courtesy returned and asked me to start sending down the groceries.

"You hand them to him!" the man ordered. Your counter is disgusting! I don't want any germs on my groceries! It's obvious you never clean anything here."

I gave the courtesy a look, and he rolled his eyes in response. We finished the orders and the man left, mumbling about how disgusting everything was. I told the story to my manager who told me that the man was a regular, and he did the same thing every time he was in.

A week later he was back. This time with a cartload of cheese, which, again, was supposed to be sold in limited quantities. Once again he had me ring him up multiple transactions, and once again he ranted and raved about how filthy the counters were and how none of his groceries had better touch them. I breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone at last.

That night, as the man lay sleeping inside a giant plastic bubble, a noise broke through his dreams.

"No!" He called out in his sleep, "Not the moist sponge!"

*THUMP! THUD! THUMP!*

"What?!" The man sat bolt upright in his bubble.

A tiny fairy, dressed in dirty rags, hovering with tattered bat wings, was banging on his bubble with a dirty toilet plunger.

"Stop touching my bubble!" the man yelled. "You're filthy!"

"My name is Grungetta," she replied. "I'm a dirt fairy, and I'm here to touch everything you own."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" the man cried, but it was too late.

Grungetta flitted around his house sprinkling glittery dirt clods everywhere, and touching all his food. The man tried to chase her, but he was stuck in his bubble and kept bumping into stuff, and bouncing off everything. At last his bubble rolled down the stairs, crashed into his ex-wife's knitting needle collection, and exploded. The man leapt to his feet, grabbed a flyswatter, and rushed at the fairy, intending to squish her.

Grungetta dodged the swatter and pulled out a silver whistle blowing a single shrill note. The door burst open, and an enormous herd of teacup piglets flooded into the house, trampling the man. The piglets, grunting adorably, ran all around the house, leaving muddy tracks everywhere, and just as soon as they had appeared, they were gone. Grungetta stuck her tongue out at the man, made a rude noise, and disappeared in a puff of dirt.

The man looked in horror at the filth that surrounded him, and ran screaming from his home. The last anyone saw of him, he was running fully clothed through the car wash for the eleventh time, gargling window cleaner, and scrubbing himself with a squeegee.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

True Facts! 12!

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Did you know that the fanny pack was invented by a kangaroo named Beverly Hopkins? True fact!

Did you know that squids are people too? True fact!

Did you know the muffin man? He did NOT live on Drury Lane. True fact!

Did you know that the Winged Scorpion is the second largest flying arachnid in the northern hemisphere? The largest is the Flying Tarantula. True fact!

Did you know that cruise ships are robotic whales? True fact!

Did you know that airplanes are robotic flying squirrels? True fact!

Did you know that military tanks are robotic elephants? True fact!

Did you know that helicopters are robotic sky fish? True fact!

Did you know that trains are robotic land eels? True fact!

Did you know that the world's lasagna supply is in crisis? The worlds only known lasagna mine recently collapsed in on itself, and pasta miners are scrambling to dig it back up. Until they do, the price of lasagna is expected to skyrocket. True fact!

Did you know that raisins are tiny prune fairies? True fact!

Did you know that meatballs are only found on the rare steakberry bush? True fact!

Did you know that carbonated soft drinks are made from the milk of the Giant Belching Bubble Bird? True fact!

Did you know that Tic Tacs are the eggs of one of the tiniest lizards in North America? Its name is the Mini Mint Monitor, and the flavor of the eggs depends on what the lizard has been eating. True fact!

Did you know that wooly mammoths are not extinct? After the ice age came to an end the mammoths got way too hot and decided to become nudists. Now everyone just calls them elephants. True fact!

Monday, April 7, 2014

Video Blitz 5

To start this post, tonight Adam Young released his latest Owl City track, and it's amazing. A. May. Zing.
This is just the audio, but I'm crossing my fingers for a music video. He hasn't released a music video since Shine Your Way, from the Croods, and that was just promotion for a movie. He hasn't released one for an original track since Shooting Star in October of 2012! It's been WAY too long!



To make this already amazing track even better, it features Lindsey Stirling! I had imagined what it would be like if they collaborated, but I never dreamed it would actually happen. He's almost a mainstream artist, she's a YouTuber, it's not often you see the two kinds of artists working together. But I guess the boundaries are blurring, and he also got his start on the internet, so I guess I shouldn't have discounted the possibility.

Speaking of Lindsey Stirling, She recently released an orchestral version of Transcendence, and it is amazing!



And the Landfill Harmonic make an appearance! I was so surprised to see them!

Next up is a Peter Hollens video, a collaboration with Mike Tompkins.



The video was meant to commemorate his wife's pregnancy. And speaking of his wife:

The last video I'll share today is Evynne Hollens' cover of Brave. I actually don't think I've heard the original of this song before, and I'm not sure I want to now. This one is just too good.



In case anyone is wondering, she had their baby a few days ago, and his name is Ashland James.

Edit: Never mind what I said above, about not wanting to hear the original. I looked it up. It is just as amazing, and I have to include the video. It's too good not to share.



I love the joy in uninhibited dancing. :)

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Dance Lesson Pics!

I suppose you're all wondering what happened after I fainted yesterday. Well Kristen showed up and did CPR again, but this time it was the non-AHA-approved kind! I'm gonna faint AGAIN just thinking about it! After her miraculous kiss of life, we had our lesson, and while we danced we took so many selfies together that my camera actually started smoking! Do you want to see them? DO YOU?! Well too bad, because APRIL FOOL!!!!!!!

In case you missed yesterday's post, and have no idea what the hex I'm even talkin' about, you can catch yourself up by clicking HERE.

And if you're new here, and didn't know it, I've been April Fooling on this blog since the beginning. You can find my wild tale about dropping out of school to become a homeless street mime in New York HERE, and my tale about moving to Paris to take up interpretative dance-slash-basket-weaving HERE.

See you next year! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha......

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

HUGE Announcment!!!

I'm sure you've all noticed I haven't been blogging much lately. Well that's because I have been very busy. Ever since I got back to Ames in January I have been spending every second of my spare time practicing for a top secret audition that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone about. But now that it's happened I can finally tell you all!

This weekend I auditioned for the next season of Dancing With the Stars, and I got in! This summer I will be flying to New York to compete for a chance to star in an episode of the new dance themed spin-off of the hit musical show, Glee! If I win, I will be playing a character named, Juan Carlo Rodríguez, a pathetic nerdy loser who joins the high school dance club, becomes wildly popular, saves the head cheerleader from the evil quarterback, Marty McStabbington by soundly defeating him in a dance battle, and is tragically murdered by McStabbington's goons, the brainless Butcherson Brothers. It's a role I was born to play.

Now I'm sure you're all wondering, "Jonathan, you're going to be on Dancing with the STARS! So who is your partner?" Well, that's the best part! The celebrity I have been paired with is Kristen Chenoweth! I was so shocked when she showed up that I literally started screaming. And not manly screaming either. High-pitched, long, drawn-out, girly screaming, followed by short, rapid screams, leading to hyperventilation. And then I fainted. Right in front of her. I woke up when she started performing CPR on me. Sadly it was not the mouth-to-mouth kind, the American Heart Association did away with that ages ago. Spoil-sports. Still, not many people can say that Kristen Chenoweth almost broke their sternum!

Oh my word! I've got to go. Kristen just called, and she's coming over to teach me how to Salsa! I think I'm freaking out! I'm freaking out! The room is starting to spin! Everything is going dark! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!

>Clunk<

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Chicago: Day 6 - The Shedd Aquarium

Well, it certainly took me long enough. I can't believe it's almost the end of March and I'm just now posting the last of my Chicago pictures. From AUGUST. ANYway...

The last day in Chicago we spent at the Shedd Aquarium. It was probably my least favorite day. Which is sad, because it was also the place I was looking forward to visiting the most. Don't get me wrong, the aquarium was awesome, it's just that there were SO many people!

THIS is what we had to deal with when we got there.


This is at the back of the line, and we weren't there very long before people started lining up behind us. Eventually someone came along and told us we could skip the long line, and get in the short line since we had City Passes, but that proved to be of little consolation as we were moved from one place to another, and didn't actually get into the aquarium for, I'm not even sure. I'm going to guess it was a good hour. And that doesn't include Uncle Bill, who had come with us for the day. He had to wait in the long line, as he didn't have a City Pass. I don't even know how long he had to wait. We didn't see him for most of the day.


Once we got in and away from the crowds though, we had a great time. By far the highlight of my day was seeing the Beluga Whales, up close from down below, and later performing in the show! More on that later. I only wish I could have gotten a better picture. This one has been heavily Photoshopped to look this good, the lighting was pretty bad for photography. The whales were such hams. You could tell they loved clowning around for the visitors. They swam all around the tank, swimming in circles, back and forth, and upside down, only stopping when they were called to the surface to perform in the show.


Aside from the whales and dolphins, my favorite exhibit was the jellyfish. There were so many more kinds than I have ever seen, and some were just bizzare!







The best part of the day was the dolphin and whale show. We had to wait a long time for it to start but it was worth it.



This picture made me regret not bringing my good camera. I love it, but I hate that it's so blurry!


And that's about the extent of my pictures. I didn't take nearly as many that day as I did on the others.

If you're interested in seeing some more pictures from my trip, I made up a blog post of some of my best photos on my photography blog. You can find that post HERE.

We had so much fun in Chicago last year, that we have definitely decided we're going back. There are so many places we wanted to see, but didn't get to. It's not a question of if, just when. School makes it kind of hard to plan anything right now, but we will go back eventually!